Jesus' Niece

She's uber-intelligent. Beautiful inside and out. In fact, she's no stranger to a photoshoot. She's funny. She can cook a mean lasagna. Oh, and she'll be entering the seminary in the fall.

Yes, the latest homeboysaid question-raiser is a super dope chick. But when it comes to the fellas, she wonders if working for the Big Guy scares average Joes away. I suggested she let me query the Man Panel. Here's what they had to say:

WOULD YOU DATE A CHICK WHO WAS A MINISTER, or studying to be? Would you think twice about hollering at a chick who works for Jesus? Are you creeped out by the idea of putting the moves on somebody deeply involved in the church -- whether it's as a minister, or otherwise?

My DC friend pleaded the Fifth.

the GO GETTA said:

Is she close minded? Do I have to be the same religious affiliation as her? No, it does not creep me out on putting the moves on somebody deeply involved in the church, but I probably wouldn't because I'm assuming she will be close minded about certain things and we would probably butt heads. But I do like that she has goals and a dream.

KILLER CAL said:

"I'd have to pass on Rev. Fat Booty. I do some things the the church may or may not agree with. And if we got together and she didn't frown on them, i'd think she's faking the religious funk.

Plus, I dont give up football on Sundays for anyone."

PAUL WALL responded yes, but his answer was not what I was expecting. He said:

Would I date a minister? -- Of course. -- Preachers, ministers, and pastors are all people too. In fact, one of the freakiest girls I ever dealt with was in seminary school. But the thing is that I don't think it would ever go anywhere. I mean I would never wife her or make her my girl, but we could kick it and whatnot. Preachers are John Legends - "ordinary people".

THE KID, said:

"Absolutely NOT...I'd feel very awkward in bringin up sex, or things that go on during that time. And the little, but crucial aspects of it...haha, so I've heard...lol, like slappin a girls a**, hearin her talk s***, would be VERY VERY WEIRD!!!...Anytime I'd smack her a** or something like that...or hear her tell me where to bust...would feel like I'm committing one of the WORST ACTS IN LIFE!!! ..."

All-En1 (your favorite female minister/homegirl/big girl's favorite dj) chimed in:

Unfortunately I would not date a female in the church as a profession. Not because she's a minister, but because of my personal thoughts of "the church." I wouldn't want to have that talk every day and her trying to convince me every day to come to work with her.

Plus, I don't want to be the guy to get it on in the pulpit in some
wild fantasy. On the other hand ...

And while the NSFW responses made me chuckle, I began to think that perhaps, the Man Panel was more homogeneous than I'd previously realized. Sure, my guys represent a myriad occupations, backgrounds, ages and so on, but perhaps I was dipping in one area of the spiritual-devotion pool. That's when I had to go affirmative action on your be-hinds, and call directly upon THE GOOD REV., who broke my question down and said this:

1. WOULD YOU DATE A CHICK WHO WAS A MINISTER, or studying to be?

I would, and as a minister myself I often wish I had someone who actually cared (or was more invested) in the stuff that occupies most of my time. The tough part about being or dating a minister is that most folks don't understand the amount of time this job occupies. True, it is a job, but you shouldn't think of it like that. It's a lifestyle that makes it tough to balance a personal life. Ministers ALMOST always screw up dating.

Would you think twice about hollering at a chick who works for Jesus?

Because most "Jesus-workers" don't know how to do anything else (that is, have a personal life), I would definitely think twice before kicking something off. But not because she's a minister. Anytime a woman shows DEVOTION to anything, I'm kinda turned on. But she has to be able to show me she has a life outside of church, or every date is gonna feel like she's converting me.

Are you creeped out by the idea of putting the moves on somebody deeply involved in the church -- whether it's as a minister, or otherwise?

Tough question. We're human, you know? And I've learned that most ministers (including myself) or folks who are deeply religious also have a lot of sexual energy pinned up as a result of their higher devotion. If she shows me that she's comfortable with her sexuality then I would certainly make a move...AT SOME POINT lol. If you can't negotiate your faith with a kiss or some "grinding" (a la 8th grade), chances are you're too uncomfortable with your "nature" to engage mine. If I'm into you we will need to touch at some point.

And last but not least, a wonderfully articulate (and backed-up-by-personal-experience) answer from a guy who I'll call MR. THOUGHTFUL:

From my perspective, some men would marry a female minister, but not many. Below are a couple reasons I believe this is true.

First, without considering gender, any person who marries a minister should be serious about their faith. If the person is not serious about their faith - not being overly religious, but committed to keeping God as the central focus of their relationship - they probably won’t/shouldn’t marry a minister. If they do, there is the possibility they may become resentful of the marriage and/or God. When you consider this factor, your number of eligible men decreases.

Second, when considering gender, a man who marries a female minister has to be secure in who he is. In formal ministry, the partner (usually a woman) can be seen as secondary to the minister. This may put uncomfortable pressure on a man who is accustomed to leading or being seen as the authority on matters. This problem is more a symptom of sexism in our society than anything else. Many men today feel being with a strong woman diminishes them in some way. A strong woman who is devoted to God is not an attack on manhood, it is a celebration of God-hood. It demonstrates that God is in us all. Any man who is secure in his significance should not be threatened by this, but they should encourage it. A strong spouse usually is an indicator of… another strong spouse. Having a woman in authority (not just a minister, but a judge, doctor, supervisor, principal, etc.) says a lot about the man who married her. It says he is secure and confident enough to support his woman’s profession in a society that says she should only be supporting his. When you combine this factor with the first, your number of eligible men decreases even further.


Finally, as a minister with a wife who married a minister (duh), I believe marrying someone called by God says a lot more about the spouse than the minister. It takes a person of true humility, self-confidence, and honesty to stand with their mate in ministry. Ministers sometimes get placed ahead of the spouse, but this is wrong. The greatest gift one can give to mankind is to be a servant. The greatest servant there likely will ever be is a spouse (ask anyone married). Serving in a marriage is not a job, it’s a calling and much like a minister, everyone is not called to it (or called to it with you). In this case, there are few men called to do this, but be sure that those who you are considering are serious about their faith and secure in their manhood.

My prayers are with you as you continue to serve God and love others.