The Kanye Philosophy

[**--A NOTE FROM n.harlem: I hit up a journalist from the West Coast, a blogger from the South, an Ivy Leaguer, a Brooklyn marketing exec, an East Coast cat with TV aspirations, a computer guru from the Windy City and a rhyme-spitter from the Midwest _ single, attached and somewhere in between (in no particular order) and prompted them with the following. Four of the eight responses are listed below. Enjoy!]

Hey dude,

I'm working on a post for Stoopidfreshmind.com and you are one of about eight of my closest woman-loving guy friends who I'm asking to participate.

I was flipping through Complex Magazine today, and read the following statement from Kanye "Martin Louis King" West:



I thought the whole "a woman is reflection of you" thing was pretty provocative (or maybe it's just common sense -- but if Steve Harvey wants to act like it's science, then I will too). Yeezi talks about how he was a pretty "untrustworthy" guy in past relationships, and he figures his tomfoolery was what made his chick become a "Paranoid" "Robocop." Blah blah blah.

So tell me what you think: should more men think like 'Ye and act accordingly? ie, If your girl isn't happy, then should you assume it's because you're slippin on your man duties? Are women too dependent on their man to provide the happiness in a relationship? And if so, is that why so many chicks are single? lol

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Thanks fellas!

* Omen said ... **

I think a relationship is each person's responsibility. If one of the partner's isnt happy, I think its kind of difficult to just group every situation together and say well the man should assume he's slipping or vice versa. It depends on the circumstances involved. I think a lot of women are a little too dependent on their man for happiness and also men can be the same way. I think in general it stems from an idea that when you enter a relationship, your partner should complete you, you know the old love cliche "you complete me."
But, I think people show grow as individuals first and know who they are, and be complete by themselves before they enter into a relationship. As two complete people, only growth can happen, because both people know who they are and aren't depending on the other to play parent. That way the partners truly are partners. Just my two cents ...

* The Kid said ... **

Ok, wow I can't believe that Kanye West would find a way to make a "Relationship," All About Himself!?! No really, but the fact that he says a woman made him believe in HIMSELF...One, I find that hard to believe...Two, If that's true, this woman should be given a thousand paper cuts and showered with Soft Pretzel Salt! Kanye embodies the Egomaniac, so that's crazy that a woman mad him feel that way...But lets get off of Kanye, the man runs to the lime light as fast as roaches & mice run away from it!

As far as relationships go and, what I take from the question, the complete functionality of them, my opinion isn't one of much complication, merely one of simple factors. Before I get into that specific opinion, to address the, "Reflection of You," statement, that is partially correct. However, a "Relationship," deals in a couple, meaning each person is a reflection of their partner. What that means is, if your partner dresses in jeans so tight it looks as if you're in competition with each other, it can be taken that the female whom he's with, has a thing for sensitive men. Which can also say, that the woman in question in this instance, has more of a dominant personality, and a, "Take Charge," type of female. Again, these assumptions can only be made off of the appearance of your partner, and may not necessarily be true, hence it being a reflection, not reality. A man that's with a very soft spoken, quiet, non-combative female, one can assume that he is a fan of women, with little to no opinion on things, and will also provide less headache, or disputes, in his eyes of course. People, as you can see, can be very judgmental, which coincides with the, "First Impressions Are Everything," type of statement. However, I digress...

Relationships can only work if there is a natural chemistry between two people. Chemistry meaning that, this is a person that you genuinely LOVE their company! Not their sex, not their money, not anything other than them as a person. If you can say, I just love to be around him/her, no matter what we're doing, a real foundation has been laid out. Again, this has to be a Genuine & Mutual, attraction between the two people. Often, we hear of women thinking they can change men, Ehh Ehh, bad move, because it most likely won't happen. We do what we want, When we want, sorry to be so blunt, but if I said what you WANT to hear, versus what you NEED, I'd be a bad guy! With this being sad, if a guy is actually, "In To You," there won't be much a female has to ask for, because 9/10, the guy has already thought of her, and is in the process of bringing a smile to her face, by being thoughtful. But, PLEASE, don't ask for things, very unattractive sometimes, especially early in the game...and also, an fyi...Once u give up them cookies, consider Duncan Hines moving on to a new baked good! That's girls' main bargaining chip, not meaning to be crass, but that's pretty much what it is, especially when women are seeking relationship, and not just a J.O. I could go on, but these helpful hints should shed some further light on this particular subject.

* The WordSmith said ... **

"I always wish I woulda cared more/That's my only feeling inside whenever I get a song done/ I'm scared that every girl I cared for/ will find a better man/ and end up happier in the long run" -Drizzy "Missin You (RMX)

(Bare with me as this is a stream of conscience thought) A proper foundation of trust is KEY to a healthy & happy relationship. I completely agree with Ye'. Although it's not as cut and dry as women being "dependent" on a man to provide happiness, (Although I'd truly love to put it all on you wimmens) it is about reciprocity. First, all parties should be ready to enter a relationship when it begins. Too often I think women (some thirsty ass niggaz too) try to rush into a relationship before they have themselves right or force and/or coerce the other party into one. A relationship is WORK. Folks think that shit is glamorous and all about spoonin' and smilin'. Granted that's the sunny side, the cloudy days of a relationship is enough to make you want to be exiled to a far corner of the Earth. Second, people need to seriously consider what they can FORGIVE (i.e. GET OVER THAT SHIT). When you truly forgive someone, you cannot hold them accountable for shit that they may have done before. No one can continually make up for past transgressions. It's just not possible. If your man/woman cheats on you, and you say "I forgive you. We can work it out", then you must hold yourself accountable for not being a "Paranoid" "Robocop". If you can't forgive and TRUST again, then the essentially fabric of a relationship is torn and unable to be mended. That's like you walking around with a run in your pantyhose (Yes, pantyhose). Personally, I feel like most men don't care until it's too late or you simply just don't realize the good thing you had until its slippin through your fingers like loose sand. My boi and I were having a conversation about 808s & Heartbreak and the best way to sum up that album is "I get it". Not that he speaks for every man and granted every situation is different, but that album is real talk.

*yo papas said ...**

I don't think women are too dependent on their man to provide the happiness in a relationship, but I think women are too quick to blame the man for why their unhappy instead of taking a good look at themselves.

All men care about is making their women happy, and I think men care about that a lot more than women would like to give them credit for.

Rich or poor men are raised to be a provider in all things life, including a woman's happiness. I'm sure even a woman who is happy with her man can get annoyed at how many people automatically assume the reason why she's unahppy is because some shit her man did.

But, in a girl's defense, men are often too quick to assume they can be all things to their woman. Sometimes your love just isn't going to be enough to get her out of her funk. Sometimes it goes beyond us, and when it does, we just have to tell her that we're there for her and we will support her unconditionally.

I just want to know that it's not my fault the woman is unhappy, but that is automatically my first assumption whenever she's unhappy.

I mean, it's just me and her in a relationship and if the relationship is what she's unhappy with, who else can I blame?

A man must be, at all times, proactive in making sure the relationship is straight. But complain too much, and he gets frustrated, which is why you hear a lot of those songs from male artists about how a woman should just leave if she's that unhappy. Women don't ever tell a man to just leave if he's unhappy, even if the reason for his unhapiness is because he can never make her happy.

That's a gross generalization, but in my experiences that's what it has been.