WORDSMITH's Self-Help for the Sensible Woman to the Scallywag, Vol. V - Ode to the Sensible

[He's a financial analyst with advertising aspirations in Atlanta, AND he's a Morehouse Man. And though you can't take him home to your mama, you can at least check out his blog after you read a re-print of his work right here. The Black Smith [Wordsmith] will change your life with all his southern fried, gourmet word goodness. Enjoy!]




In our quest to enlighten the sensible woman and the scallywag, my colleague and I had the realization that we may have fallen short in countering the negatives with the positives. That’s not cool. Lo Siento. We want to enlighten, inspire, and invigorate the wimmens. So in order to write our wrongs, we decided to dedicate this installment to the Sensible Sexy women of the world. We know Ne-Yo is currently smitten over Miss Independent, but we’ll take Queen Sensible any day of the week. This one is for the breezy* and not the smeezie*.

Cheers 2 U Sensible Sexy Woman:

* Your bra and panties ALWAYS match. And even if it’s not the same set per se, the color schemes are on point. With you, I’m pleased with what you wear in the streets and it’s a treat to see what you got on underneath. [AY! OK! © OJ da Juiceman]
* You can create edible elation with whatever I have in my cabinets, something like a culinary MacGyver. I got bread, cheese, and salsa, and somehow come back with a Ribeye and Crab Oscar
* You have a workout routine for your health and not just to look good for the summer. After a hard workout, you maintain an agreeable glow and somehow you don’t smell like you just ran with a pack of animals.
* Although your dumb ass friends are consistently in your ear, you manage to separate real from fake and don’t let them pollute your mind. Don’t save them, they DO NOT want be saved!
* You embrace and react appropriately to PDA, but don’t feel compelled to relentlessly initiate it.
* You know what it feels like for your feet to hurt, not because you sacrificed practicality for style, but because you've been up all day on your grind. More importantly, you still pass Marcus Graham’s patented foot test! [If you haven’t seen Boomerang, kill yo self]
* You have mastered the subtleties of PDA i.e. the ear nibble, the whisper, the wink, and the lip bite so in the presence of company I can read your mind, I know what you’re thinking…and it’s alright with me (c) Avant
* You may not be in the mood that night [lawry’s] BUT you wake a brother up to early morning hot cakes the next day. Good Mooooornnnninnngggg © John Legend
* When you come over for the holidays you arrive bearing gifts and you leave with a to-go plate that was offered to you.
* You have mastered the art of mature sexy; tailored pants suit CHECK, mean heel game CHECK, dressed appropriately for the weather CHECK
* You keep arguments and discontent for the privacy of home quarters. You & drama aren’t acquaintances and damn sure ain't friends.
* You can be content with sitting home some evenings while reading a good book that elevates the mind and soul. You have no regrets about missing the club...but you will pick your girl up after she has managed to drink her weight in champagne and Patron all because "He (Trapstar, Entertainer, Baller, Random Trickin' Ass nigga) was buying".
* And most importantly…
You know that a grilled cheese is made best with 2 slices of American cheese, slightly blackened & complimented with a side of tomato bisque.

*Breezy [Bree-zee] - A woman of exceptional beauty who possesses most qualities a man is looking for; Derived from her pleasant nature which is comforting as a “warm breeze”
*Smeezie [Smee-zee] - A combination of smut and sleezy; Fellatious woman; femininus scallywageth